The Offline Society: Bringing Romance to the Real World

“Once upon a time, offline wasn't even a word... You caught someone’s eye across a room. Your stomach leapt. There was chemistry. This was back in the time of romance. Back in the real world.”

Our generation doesn’t live in the real world often anymore—we live online. With all the social media sites “you just have to join!” popping up, it’s tough enough to keep up with your evidently-crucial internet life, let alone an actual one. So many of us, craving that fabled romance of times gone by, search in the only place we know: the internet.

"Hi, my name is Jules, and I am an online dater."

Yes, you all better chorus a dull “hiiii, Juuulllless…”

Despite my total comfort with a relationship between the internet and my well-adjusted single-hood, there remains a little shred of chagrin hiding inside somewhere over online dating. It isn’t that “only old/sad/ugly/choose your insult” people use online dating, because that’s simply not true anymore. It depends on the city you’re in, I’m sure, but DC’s dating culture seems quite in tune with its online options. I blame a smart phone addiction and the prevailing idea that, between work and whatever social club you manage to squeeze in, “I have no time to date”.

I categorically reject the notion. Sorry, kids, but that’s bull. To quote a friend of mine: I don’t make excuses for avoiding something fun, and neither should you. So you want love? Man- or woman-up and go for it.

But a great majority of those I talk to who are online then follow it up with some form of exasperation. They’ve been on their website of choice (most in DC seem to prefer OKCupid, which seems to be the Facebook of dating for 20- and 30-somethings) for what seems like a long time, and nothing’s happening. They go on dates, meet interesting—or perhaps psychotic—people, maybe have a fun time, and then continue on their way. Very few DCists seem to be finding that spark via technological connection, and they’re tired of it.

The three lovely ladies of the rising Offline Society have witnessed—and experienced—this struggle they call “internet-dating fatigue”. They’re offering a solution. In a strange mix of futuristic innovation and historic throwback, they have created a novel concept. According to their press release, “the Offline Society is a carefully curated club of ladies and gentlemen who could all be described as 'quite the catch'. We gather in a private row home over old -fashioned cocktails and lively conversation. The mood is relaxed and there's a hint of magic in the air.”

Here’s the scoop: they’re the real deal. I grabbed drinks with the chic pioneers this week, and immediately relaxed to enjoy myself. These avant-garde 20-somethings are classy, creative, and passionate about their cause: helping you meet a special someone in the tried-and-true way. “Why not scour the room rather than scrolling through profiles? Smile rather than emoticon.” Through their selection process, they have refined an initial response of over fifty people down to a carefully chosen 30-40 invitees—even gender-ratio included. They weeded out the clearly crazy (we’re talking gun collections, empty profiles, and cheaters), and determined a collection of individuals with a certain spark.

To attend, email theofflinesociety@gmail.com (expect an eventual $10 in advance or possible $15 at the door, if room remains; don’t be cheap, it covers your drinks, food, and fun!), and await instructions. Upon entering the door of their private home in NW, you will be greeted by one of the wonderful women, provided a welcome kit including further information and suggested icebreakers, for you shrinking violets, and several spaces to mix. Acting as ‘neutral facilitators’, the ladies will be tending bar with classic cocktails and tasty hors d’oeuvres, circulating to smooth the way for conversation and connection, and ensuring a good time for all.

I want those butterflies that would shock my system at the coffee house back in college after the cute regular looked my way-- don't you? Are you finally prepared to be truly single and ready-to-mingle? Shoot these ladies a line and grab invites while they’re still available. Really, everyone: we shouldn’t be this tired and jaded already. It’s a sad way to waste our prime time. So, as they say, put your best digital foot forward, message them, and step into the real world. They’re bringing DC to ‘an era of people, not profiles’, and I sure as hell want to be a part of it.

Because honestly, kids, the real world is what the Offline Society does best. Be there or be square.